Broken Attitude

Mehak Parashar | 17-Feb-2017

It all started after the 10th class result and I was very happy that I got 9.2 CGPA without taking the stress of 10th boards studies as that much as all the students of my class were worried about their result. I was feeling very praised and happy and at the same time, the ego starts entering in my words, my way of living and everything. You can say that I was completely changed after my 10th results and because of this ego I changed my friends thinking about me. Now everyone in my friend circle started calling me a girl full of attitude.

Broken Attitude

I took science as a stream of further studies. As in our school, the students of all the sections of the same class who took science as their subject for further studies were boarded into the same class. Many of my friends were separated as they choose commerce stream for further studies. Now I was in a new class, new friends new teachers.

I joined physics, chemistry, mathematics tuition classes for improving my results and studies comfort, as now it was quite difficult for my mother to teach me in 11-12th class. Everything was going fantastic except my studies, I was unable to strike the correct answers in physics and mathematics and in chemistry, I was unable to find out even a valency of a compound. My class performance was going down and down and I was thinking that I will cover everything at the time of my exams.

After some days our first unit test held and I was shocked that I got failed in the main three subjects ie. Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics. I was feeling very depressed at that time but my all depression were gone after two or three days by thinking that I would cover up all things on my exams. But later I saw that this failure was just a starting, many disasters were there waiting for me. On parents teacher meeting my mother was very upset and angry with my performance and told me not to repeat this again and also she said to me that now studies are not just a cup of tea, you will have to work hard if you want to remain in the race of studies. On that day I started studying but this all was just a drama for a couple of days and I was back in my routine of neglecting the studies and concentrating on being trending.

In the second unit test, I was not failed in all subjects but it was just a passing marks. Later on, the time passed and the day of the results came, I was in a doubt that I would be passed or I will study with my juniors in the same class. But I was passed and boarded o 12th class only because of my teachers and my performance of the 10th class. And my result of 11th was 44% only. I cried a lot on that day and promised myself that I would study well and score a good result in 12th class. My aim was to score 80-90% in the 12th class and to take admission in Delhi University. But this aim would be unable if everything will go like this.. like scoring 44% in 11th class.

The 12th class also passed with same failures and bad performances. I used to go school daily even after December and used to go to tuitions daily.But after the month of October after Diwali, something weird starts to happen to me. After coming from tuitions I used to sleep daily and wake up on next day only for going to school.even on Sunday or on a holiday I used to sleep the whole day. I started bunking my day meal and stay hungry whole the day. I used to wake up from sleep by crying only, I started seeing haunted dreams that someone is trying to kill me by his knife near my school. I started to hate God I even refuses to use a ”tilak” days on my forehead. I did not study a single subject whole day only sleeping was my only work days and if someone would try to stop me I used to behave very weirdly and starts shouting. Waking up daily by crying only and hating God makes my family notice these things and as a result, they took me to the doctor. But doctors was unable to figure out exactly what was happened to me. Every doctor gave a different advice to me, some of them says to go for an eye checkup, some says that’s it is a migraine problem while some of them said that it is a weakness and gave me the advice to take egg and milk daily and much more. My every test came negative and I took a lot of medicines of everything at that time but no results were found. Later on, everyone starts noticing me my friends, my neighbours. On a family function, my relatives and neighbours told my parents to take me to an astrologer by listening to my condition as they were thinking that this all is the impact of Black magic. Firstly, my parents did not believe as they were educated enough to not to believe in these superstitions. It was not easy for them to believe in such black magic and all as they all are living in the 21st century, where the science is making great records and we people here are involved in these superstitions only.

But as the time was passing and January came my conditions were going from bad to worse and no improvement was seen in my condition. My condition has come to that stage up to this time that I started to cry and shout loudly whole the day as a person can not touch my things and even can't say no to me for anything I asked.

Then on seeing my condition, my parents realise that something is wrong happening to me and then they take me to an astrologer. But as doctors have their different opinions and different treatment of their patients the same thing is with astrologers different persons different ideas. Some say to put a fast on Monday, some said to give rice and sugar to a beggar, some of them said to do a Havan and much more. But my parents did each and everything told by different astrologers but still, my condition was same. After some days of February, my father was told by an uncle to took me Jhajhar near Bulandsheher UP. My parents were tired of doing different experiments with me but they never lose their hope and after some days on 20th February, they took me to Jhajhar. There I was finally cured and my condition starts improving. I m not promoting a place and a person here but I think it will be nice for some peoples suffering from same conditions to cure themselves. There my parents came to know that it was really a black magic done by 3-4 peoples on me by some food or drinks.

After some days my exams were to start and I did not know what to study and from where should I start. But now I was able to study at least. I gave my exams and I scored 70% in my 12th class. Being a low percentage and of course a general candidate I was unable to take admission in DU.

This all whatever happened to me makes me irritated and now I am unable to understand a person easily. In this stage, we the people of the 21st century are still stuck to these superstitions and black magic just for their little profit and our science has reached to Moon, this is a quite disgusting thing if we start to think over this.

Now I am doing BSC (Hons.) in physics from Teerthankar Mahaveer University, Moradabad and now I am quite happy with my performance. This was the whole story of my broken attitude.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of The writers are solely responsible for any claims arising out of the contents of this article.
About the Author
Mehak Parashar
I am Mehak Parashar studying BSC(HONS.) Physics in 2nd year from Teerthankar Mahaveer University Moradabad. My hobbies are dancing, singing and travelling and my aim is to become a successful dancer or a choreographer.