He was gone

Puneet Kumar | 20-Nov-2016

He was my love, my life and everything I had ever dreamt of yet I lost him due to my negligent decision.

We were in a relationship from past 5 years and in these 5 years, we had felt very emotion be it happiness, anger, sadness or jealousy. No matter how mad he was or how he always forgot little things, I always loved him.

He was such a nice guy that every girl dreams of. He would always make me laugh. He always loved me and pampered me. He always gave compliments about my beauty. He never lied to me and never got angry at me. I know I annoyed him a lot but still he remained calm always. He never shouted at me for anything. He understood my silence. Yeah sometimes he didn’t pay attention to his words and that hurt me but it was always unintentionally. It was his nature and I didn’t want it to change. It killed me from inside to see him upset.

He was gone

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I always knew that he wanted to marry me. It’s not that I didn’t want to marry him but I knew my family wouldn’t accept our relationship. He talked several times about it that he will talk to my parents about our relationship but I always resisted and told him that they would kill me on listening to this. Hearing this, he always tried to make me understand how important I was for him. I knew I meant a lot for him but that fear always overcame my senses. At last, he would stop trying and it made me feel guilty. It made my heart heavy with grief.

But that day I can never forget when I took the most extreme step of my life and shattered his heart into pieces. I know I didn’t do right but I was totally unaware of the bizarre consequences.

It was our 4th valentine together. I had the intuition that something was different today. We went to a park which we usually visited to spend some time together. There were others couples also. Some with their hands tangled with each other, others busy in something more. And then there were some couples who were just together living the moment.

We were walking on the sidewalk of the park when he suddenly stopped. I looked at his face. He went to his knee at once and took the rose hidden presumably behind his back.

“Maahi, I may not be the best lover but I promise to give you every ounce of my love that’s remaining inside me for the rest of our life. I want us to be officially one. Will you marry me?” he said in one go with his slightly high-pitched signature voice that didn’t have any heaviness.

His face got red. I knew he was a shy guy and thus it took him a lot of confidence to propose me for marriage in front of everyone present there. I had always dreamed of a proposal like this.

I looked at the rose and was taken aback that it had a diamond ring inside that was shining. How did he fit that ring inside the rose? I was surprised. I kept looking at his face. Everyone was looking at us and presumably thinking that I would accept it but that wasn’t the case.

“No, Puneet. I can’t accept it. You know my family would never approve of this relationship so why you did even propose me like this. This relationship was going smoothly and we both knew we had to separate soon but still you did this. I think now it’s better to get separated as I wouldn’t be able to take it ahead anymore. My parents are already searching for a guy to get me married. Please understand me. I have to go home now. Bye.” I said with tears in my eyes

I said all of this without looking at him as I couldn’t make eye contact with him. I looked around and everyone was watching us with shock. I looked at his face at last from a distance. It was ridden of any emotion. I knew his heart was crying out loud. He looked totally shocked. I just started walking out of the park. Everyone present there was looking at me like I had done some crime and in fact, I had. I had killed my love’s heart, emotions, and feelings and. I never thought I would take this step because I wasn’t strong enough to take this step earlier but I don’t know how I took it. How I said those words to him.

While on the way back to my home in the bus, tears refused to stop. Tissues seemed to increase the intensity of my tears. I was thinking about the mess I created and how could I have avoided it. I was regretting my decision. I was feeling like I should have gone to my parents and told them about our relationship. I thought that maybe I could have given at least one chance to our relationship. His words echoed in my mind “we love each other and we should talk to your parents about our future”. I was feeling very much uncomfortable. My heart was racing fast. I felt like something bad had happened with Puneet. I just sidelined my negative thoughts and started talking to myself that he was fine. Suddenly, my phone started ringing. It was a call from him. I smiled while still with tears in my eyes. I felt happy and relieved on seeing his call.

“Hello, Puneet. Where are you? Are you fine?” I said without waiting for him to speak first.

What I heard from the other side was earth shattering to my ears. I felt like something pierced my heart. My phone just fell from my hand on my lap. The voice from the other side was totally unrecognisable.

“Hello.. Hello.. Listen this man is laying here in the middle of the road. He met with a serious accident. The ambulance is yet to come. He is very serious. Please reach the hospital nearest to B.C road fast. Yours was the last number dialled from his phone. So, I called you. Inform his near ones at the earliest.  ”
And the call was cut……………….

I never got to know how that accident happened, never got to know how he felt, never got to know what happened to that rose and the ring in it. I never got to know anything because I could never meet him again. He was gone for forever.

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About the Author
Puneet Kumar
I don?t write words. I write emotions. Currently pursuing engineering but passionate to the core about writing. My writings provide you a window to peep into myriad emotions felt by a human. Simple words and strong emotions describe my writing style.