Is it really love?

Chhavi Kashyap | 11-Mar-2017

You tell her that you love her. You tell her that you need her. You tell her, that you'll do anything for her. Instead, have you ever tried telling her that you're proud to have her?

We actually are living in a generation where love has a million definitions. And I bet by 2050 we'll have another million definitions too. We fall in love, then break up and after a month or two, we fall in love again. Is this how the term- "Love" works? What is love then?

Is it really love

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Love literally is nothing but an attraction, one feels for another. It's a human tendency to feel attracted towards another sex. Either you're in a relationship or single, we all must have felt a little attracted towards someone. We get attracted to the physical appearance of another person which does not stay for long period of time. This is what we call attraction or infatuation, which the teenagers today mistake with love.

But now the question is what is love?

A strong feeling of affection is called love. This is how love is defined as by the internet. But we're not here, trying to know the definition right?

But where the internet got it right is, it's a feeling of affection. Indeed a strong one. Remember how Shahrukh Khan stated that, "We fall in love just once in this lifetime?" In Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? He figured it out, like really.

To understand what love is we need to skip some parts and jump down to the part where you break up with another person. You take the time to heal, to recover, and then you feel you're absolutely over them. And then, you fall in love again. How can you call it love every time you come into a relationship? It's never love. Once you've tasted the love and are broken by it, you look them in every person you meet. You get infatuated by them, attracted and wooed by the beauty of their heart. But as soon as you realise, their soul is composed of different colours, you leave. That's how this generation works, walking down the road finding one person in an infinite number of people they see and destroying whoever dares to touch your soul.

And then again if you ask me, who gets more hurt when two people break up?

The one, who's always been holding onto it.

First love is mostly attraction or infatuation because first love is innocent. We're not mature enough to understand the depth and strength of feelings. And yes there are people existing, enjoying their success of first love. They're the exception because either they had their first love in an appropriate age (matured enough to understand) or the six basic norms of a relationship.

Now, what are the norms of a relationship?

As time goes by, people gets attached which is very obvious. Attachment brings feelings, feelings brings understanding the other person, understanding and care brings trust, and trust gives birth to love. 

Trust and time, they both are proportional to each other. The amount of time you give to someone is exactly the amount of trust you build up on them. Trust is one of the important basics of any relationship. Just like if the sun is missing, a plant would die; not instantly but slowly. Trust is valuable, like an ornament. Trust is earned.

And, Feelings- an emotional state or the experience the sense of touch. But, how to express something like that into words which you sense inside your heart or under your skin?

Even if you try to, there'll always be some part unspoken, unheard, unexplained. That's where we should try to be understanding.

Now, do you remember how Shahrukh Khan also stated- "Love is friendship?" In Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? Oh, he has figured it all out, literally.

If we don't have a friend, to accompany us in our life who do we have at all? Life is huge, and we need someone to walk with us. Friends are somewhat shapeless. They adapt to any situation and guides us. And, friendship is an initial stage of love. 

A starter pack where you slowly get to know about the six basic norms of love.

So basically if you still don't understand, what love is then let me tell you clearly. 

Love is the most beautiful yet, powerful feeling. It can either build you up or destroy to bits. The ones who are touched by love and the one's who are waiting to be loved, don't have much difference. We all need love. To continue in this harsh, hard, ruthless life. 

And, if you once are in a relationship or are in love, it wouldn't be easy because it never is. You would fight, you will cry, you would face problems and you might even feel suffocated at times. But trust me, don't give up ever. This was something you wanted. Fight, shout and let it all out. Share what you feel, but never give up. Because at the end, this will be all worth it. Because you'll look into their eyes, and one's eyes, they never lie. Eyes are honest than any human can ever be. He can lie about anything, from hiding the pain to hiding their true intentions. But their eyes, they never lie.

If you ever want to read minds, try to look into someone's eyes. They're so deep, so genuine. They can tell stories, even the ones that he himself is unaware of. Eyes are very beautiful and pure, they give you a sneak peak of someone's soul. And if they are in love with you; you'll only see one thing in their eyes, that is, Love.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of The writers are solely responsible for any claims arising out of the contents of this article.
About the Author
Chhavi Kashyap
Passion for art. I use words as an influential weapon and an avid writer in every sense.