The Despair of Me

Digant Chhetri | 20-Oct-2016

The night, I remember
I saw a radiant halo,
Around the sublime head
Of my kind mother.
I was pulled by the leg,
Stained with the blood of my mother
All over my body.

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The cacophony of my loud cries,
Made clear that it was a boy.
It was not the agony that I cried for.
It was but the disgust of the life
That had me played, by now.

Starting the 'game of life' with
The dulcet delight of my mom's first milk.
I was enchanted, to be a good boy,
By the talisman of her lullaby.

Soon the languid clouds of time fleeted,
Without any mist of grimace.
I was sent to the school to acknowledge
The plethora of myriad knowledge.

The evocative markings of those
Celestial slaps imposed in me by my mother.
All deceiving me to be a good person.
I remember those scoldings fusing with me,
Just to make me better.

Very soon, I was on the edge of my life.
The edge with a sharp and narrow bridge,
Where many fall into the dark
And some struggles to get into the other side.

My father guided to be strong,
So I would not be blown away into the dark,
By the strong hurricane of lust, addiction and bizarre thoughts.
But alas!
I proved to be distrustful to my own father.

I fell down into the darkness,
Regretting about the chances I did not take.
I cry from deep within me
But no angels would hear now.

I was allured by the intruders
Who nailed 'hopelessness' in me.
And the strong shell of my mum's lullabies
Was already broken.

It seemed like, I stood up just to fail.
I want to restart again,
Again with the same lullabies,
There is no one that could hear my cries.
I would never ever be able to restart again.

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About the Author
Digant Chhetri
I am Digant Chhetri and writing has always been my break out from things I did not wanted to encounter. I had an anxiety disorder and life seemed to be hard. But thanks to those who encourage me to overcome it.