It is said that we always realise the value of a person in his/her absence not only with human beings, it can be applied to our daily lives too. The graph of knowing the value of that particular thing is higher before having it and after losing it. However, when we see it every day, when we have it and all the control is in our hands the worth of that particular thing or person decreases!
Well, this one is a true incident, an incident which made me stronger and gave me a lesson for life, “The worth of losing someone and realising the value of embracing the present.”
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By the time we reach our 20's most of us have either lost one or maybe both of our grandparents. We all know that death is something inevitable, when or where doesn't matter, we know it is something that will happen to all of us! Whether or not we are attached to them, when we see them going away from us, deep inside something hurts.
At times, we cry; we cry for our boyfriends - girlfriends. When they (our grandparents) are with us, we laugh, we play but we never think about their end because we live with them in them in the moment. For most of us, it's our first experience! For me, it was the same. Their funerals are the first one we see, and when you see the rituals being performed; their body being prepared for cremation or burial and the only thing that revisits your mind for that particular moment is your first moment you shared with them, your first memory with them!
I was never really attached to them until I came to their place for my college! Though we all were prepared that soon it was going to happen, soon there will be no one lying on that bed, soon that particular space of the room which belonged to him will get empty. But when it actually did, it hurt. I realised that responsibilities were coming my way and the remaining part of my childhood was gone. After coming here they were my parents, they were the one’s I would run to, and they had taken the place of my parents. They were the one's who saved us from the scolding of our parents, warned us against our bad friends, and yes told us fascinating stories all the time and the unimaginable absence of either of them really hurts!
The absence of those loving pair of arms to hug me when I reached home daily, those funny expressions and over the top photo taking sessions and a lot more, all will be missed!
For the world, we get over it, in a matter of days but do we really? But you play an important role being there for your parents who lost their parent. Liking them doesn't matters, because when they are gone there remain the moment shared together whether good or bad.
When they all were taking him away all that I did was to stare at him like a child with tears rolling down from my eyes because that particular time he was the only person I wanted, I didn't even missed a single moment from the rituals after his death because all I wanted was to collect all of his moments within myself!
I don't think there is anything which will completely get you out of this grief, all you can really do is move on with your life and wait for time to heal the things. Those memories will come, you'll confront them again and again but the only thing you can do is to cherish those memories! As they say, the story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye. It's the end of an era, they leave footprints on our hearts. Life puts you down, only so you can get up back for the better things. And of course, everyone is allowed time to let that sink in!
However, I hold a different perspective towards life now, with this loss I also understood that what makes life beautiful is the deep sorrow within it. The love that you feel for the people around you is increased tenfold because of death – because of the possibility of loss. Death forces you to fall in love with life, which is the best part and the worst part about it.